Puma Archive Uncovered. Salads Exposed.

Puma Archive Uncovered (The Hives, Children Collide, Boy + Girl) @ The Metro, and The Kooks @ The Hordern
January 5, 2009



Nicole: Let’s be honest and straight up here from the outset – we went to the Puma Archive Uncovered party because
a) Sophie’s job requires it, and
b) I had (or have?) a small crush on a guy in one of the bands. I'd call it more of an 'intellectual connection' actually. I appreciated his dry WIT.

Actually do you think they would they read this Sophie? It is kind of essential to the story that I mention he did drive us home from Pyramid Rock, so anybody could guess the band now anyway....

Sophie: He’s too busy being generally awesome in a generally awesome rock band to read this blog so we’re fine. Continue.

Nicole: Anyway moving on - we got there nice and early after a drink at the Hollywood with Little Sare. First band on was Boy + Girl. Who the fuck are they?

Sophie: If Van She were a bottle of Beck’s, they’d be the dregs left in said bottle the day after the party.

Nicole: They sucked. I can’t even remember what songs they covered, probably Michael Jackson or some equally generic and uninspired. BORING.

Sophie: Let’s put them in the ‘Band’s that suck balls. Derivative-electro-pop balls’ category and move the fuck on. Yes Cassette Kids, you’re in there too.

Nicole: Children Collide however.... That cover of The Police ‘Walking on the Moon’ was amazing...

Sophie: I think that’s the only song the crowd actually got. That Brian Eno cover was amazing but totally lost on an audience of Sydney try-hard hipsters. Johnny tends to be too awesomely creative for his own good. BTW if they took the word ‘awesome’ out of the dictionary... i’d be in serious trouble.

Nicole: It’s at this point we run down the stairs, onto the street and jump in a cab because we have tickets for the Kooks at the Hordern. Which we’re really late for, but we met these guys last time they were out here doing a secret show so we’d already seen them a few months ago.

Sophie: Oh yeah, that night Luke pashed me. Hard to forget really.

Nicole: Oh yeah! We didn't stay for long - I was in that indie snob frame of mind. I looked around at all the losers there and it just turned me off them.... So it was back to the Metro for the Hives. Walked up into the bar and spotted our friend from Children Collide so we go up to say hi..... And I launch into a really really boring story about salad.....

Sophie: That salad story was amazing Nicole. If the desired effect was to make him think you’re an over-starved, over-stupid model ... what were you thinking!

Nicole: Oh it was brilliance. I described everything from my interaction with the waiter, to the moment I realised I couldn’t finish the salad (because every guy loves a girl who might possibly have an eating disorder), the ingredients, it’s relative ‘filling-ness’ on the salad scale (1 being a standard rocket and oil salad, 10 being one of those salads you get in the US where salad just means ‘a huge bowl of torn up meat, eggs, mayonnaise and whatever else we can think of. No there is no bread – carbs are fattening). It was really really good - his eyes were all glazed. I could have stopped but.... why would I? I enjoyed it.

Sophie: And he just stood there with that “umm...ooookay then” look in his eyes....

Nicole: I know! So then we went in to watch the Hives who were all decked out in their little matching jackets, sweating away. Loved their strange Swedish/American hybrid accents. They covered a song by The Hellacopters! Unfortunately I can’t remember what song that was.....

Sophie: Think is was '(Gotta get some action) NOW!' and you can watch the illegally filmed (not by me) video HERE.
[IRRELEVANT] QUESTION: Name a song that has the sound of a helicopter in it.
ANSWER: The Happiest days of Our Lives - Pink Floyd

Nicole: It’s the afterparty we really need to get to though. We went to Sugarmill in the Cross to hang out with the Kooks – mainly because they weren’t rude and arrogant enough the first time we met them. Sophie gives everyone a second chance to prove they’re not assholes.... I’m not as forgiving, but I did go along as moral support... I was standing at the bar with Sophie and this guy came up to me and said “You’re FUNNY. Have you seen the movie Patch Adams?”. Um - what the FUCK?

Sophie: Ha! What about that really awkward moment when I asked Luke about dating Mischa Barton. “So read in WHO you’re dating Mischa now?”. “well, i’d more say it was courting”. “ah yeah, and how’s that going for ya?” [Luke stares blankly and resumes conversation with the girl standing on his other side]. Anyway, Mischa is a mole so whatever. PS you forgot about Jesus. He was nice, and tall. And why didn’t we go to Judgement bar to see the others – the Hives were there!?

Nicole: Oh god you didn't tell me that! Well you know I was super keen for the Judgement Bar..... so I'm afraid we need to blame you. Oh Jesus was okay, but I heard a few stories about him later on that made me doubt him. Perhaps not safe for the internet?

Sophie: No censorship here lady... but I'm actually bored of him now so unless they're really funny....

Nicole: Nah. Not really. I also got to the end of this blog and realised I am completely over that band guy too. NEXT.